Tuesday, 10 March 2020

I kid you not, I’ve had to ask Sophie if she can take Bailey into her bedroom. He won’t let me type! So needy.Wants attention 24/7. Only just back from the park. My legs are hanging off and his probably should be with his arthritis. Right, lets do this.

AM

Everyone seems to be stockpiling so I thought I’d best buy a couple more tins of tuna on the way back from doctors.

About 15 minutes in the waiting room and a young boy was coughing without using his hand. Then when seeing my eww that’s gross facial expression he used his curled up hand. Like a pea shooter, firing it straight at us. Lovely.

Anyway, popped in Aldi on the way back and my 3 tins of tuna and a couple more tins of tomatoes turned into milk, frozen calamari, more frozen sliced onions, tins of peaches, two packets of couscous (only 35p each!), Red Leicester cheese and two packets of halloumi (because they have a long fridge life), couple of tins of Spaghetti , packet of crackers, and a few tins of soup. No unsalted butter bread flour to be found.

It was all going well until I got to the till. There were three people in front of me and the person being served had an item that wouldn’t scan. I can’t tell you how long I waited but it was quite a while. A member of staff had gone to find it behind the Staff Only door (I don’t know what’s behind it). So I said

“Can you not put it to one side and serve us?”
“No” he said, “Put yours on that till over there”
“I can’t!” I said and waved my right arm at him “I’m disabled!”. [I could move them again but it took a load of energy and pain to put them there and I’ve still got to pack them away yet.]

Oh god. oh god oh god oh god. Why did I SAY THAT?! I wasn’t angry or anything, didn’t shout it, but it definitely wasn’t my telephone voice either. Wasn’t even in a rush. All three people in front turned around and looked at me. I could feel their utter disdain.

I put my head down and willed the ground to swallow me up. Story of my life.

Its (finally) my turn to be served, I instantly say “I’m so sorry! I’ve had a brain injury and one of the many things its left me with is a very short temper and severe lack of patience, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

AND HE SAID:

“That’s okay! I’ve served you before! I know you’re not rude, you’re a nice lady! Its absolutely fine! Don’t even think about it!”

I welled up a little bit after he said that because I don’t usually explain my behaviour after I make a show of myself. I usually run off with my head down and hope their memory’s are as bad as mine. Sometimes (most of the time) I’ll get a bit teary and annoyed with myself for reacting like a knob when its not who I was.

But now I’m thinking maybe I should explain myself if it will make me feel better. I do carry a card but rarely get it out. It says ‘I may have problems with my memory, speech or actions, your help and patience are appreciated‘. My ‘Get out of Being a Knob Free’ card.

The tins are still on my kitchen table. Nowhere to put them. Only a small kitchen so don’t get any ideas and burgle me, thanks.

PM

I put earphones in and dialled mother while I washed last night’s dishes. They don’t drive. Do you want any shopping? “No, we’ve always got stocked cupboards and freezer. I won’t get the Corona thing because I’ve got two hospital appointments so I’ll be going outside and that’s good because we won’t build a resistance to it if we stay inside”. Umm…

Then it was off round Pen’s for some more website lessons. There’ something weird going on with my adverts, they’re not showing for some reason. Pen has installed a Donate button for the time being. I said it doesn’t feel right its begging. He waved my protestations away with “This is a business now. Your writing is your business. People will happily donate to you so you can keep writing”.

“Thanks for all your help Pen”, I said, “you’re so smart!” Then I bent down to pick up my scarf from the floor but it was one of his cats who jumped a mile haha! Sorry Alfie.

The world is changing isn’t it. I miss Tomorrow’s World. We knew what we had to look forward to and how we’d adapt. Thank God I’ve got smart friends!

Right, best eat something. Pick a tin?