The One Where I Lied to A Friend

The Guilt Is Eating me Alive

I’ve been putting this off for so long but its going to be easier to write than explaining to every single friend my reasonings. Hopefully I’ll still have some left by the end of it. The close ones already know and no man down. Yet!

This is not a ‘change my mind for me’ piece of writing, I’m sick to death of reading/hearing/thinking about it. After this the word is not coming out of my mouth or off my fingers. Right, here goes…

My Friend Imogene

She’s wonderful. I love her. Friends for 30 years with pretty much the same general outlook/morals, never a cross word.

But we’ve never had COVID in our lives before. And she was incredibly shocked when I said I hadn’t had the vaccine. When anyone asks I try to bat it off, quickly change the subject. Having ADD makes this a lot easier(!) and we’re away, off the subject.

But then the next time we spoke, she asked again. I couldn’t think of a quick distraction. I panicked and lied. Said yes I’d had the first dose. But I haven’t. And now I can’t meet her until I tell the truth. Last week she asked if Sophie had it and again I distracted and changed subject because that’s Sophie’s business. But its time to be honest.

The Vaccine

First off, I think vaccinating (healthy) children against COVID is pretty evil. Unless you haven’t looked at VAERS and have no idea how many deaths and adverse reactions there are to the vaccine. Its shocking. I’m old school, I think the old should die first, not the young. In my opinion, it is not worth the risk. You can still spread & transmit COVID even if you’ve been vaccinated so making out that little Timmy is killing granny is evil.

I could be here all day waffling about big pharma paying out billions in damages over the years. But they’re taking no responsibility for this one. You can’t sue. You can’t apply for a Freedom of Information request for 55 years. They’re keeping that shit locked down.

108 FIFA players and coaches have died in 6 months. Young athletes are dying. So many sudden deaths and heart attacks. Footballers collapsing on the pitch. (Yes, I know Aguero already had underlying heart condition but there are many others). Young mothers are dying from the vac (43 year old Lisa Shaw, a BBC presenter, leaves two young children). There have been 21 (TWENTY ONE!) stillborn deaths IN ONE MONTH in Scotland. Absolutely horrific. In Canada, 86 STILLBORNS from January to July. Normally there are only 5 or 6 stillbirths a year. Those poor mothers, every single one had the vaccine.

From the moment the vaccine was announced my gut instinct said NO. I’ll wait, thanks. I’m not an anti-vaxxer. Had them all. But none of this is right. NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE. The masks don’t work, no wait, yes they do! Wear a mask when you stand up but you can take it off when you sit down. Shut up! This vaccine will prevent death! Except it hasn’t though, has it. Deaths are double this year.

Every single person I know has sailed through COVID. Surely you must have family & friends who have? Just like flu, the old, frail and people with underlying conditions will take the worst hit. So they should take the vaccine.

I’m not denying COVID, I’m denying the response to it. The amount of people now dying from other causes – the huge rise in deaths at home, undiagnosed cancer is heartbreaking. The NHS waiting list is now years. Most people’s mental health is down the shitter. I can’t eat. I have to force myself. Unless its chocolate ha!

Why do people need coercion? Get your clot shot here! Free doughnuts! Don’t worry about the myocarditis, free doughnuts! Mental. Did you see recently Austria are giving free 1 hour sessions with a prostitute if you take the jab?! How perfectly normal is that?!

Don’t even get me started on Australia and their quarantine camps. Absolutely chilling.

The Vaccine For Me

I’m a brain injury survivor, lucky to be here and I’ve had Bells Palsy a number of times (the last time was only 3 years ago). I can’t have the vaccine. And I’m glad. I also have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome in my right wrist/arm. Basically my brain now thinks my wrist is still broken and behaves as such. But worse because it burns. Its the most painful condition up there with childbirth. There is no way in hell I will ever let anything into my body that could affect my dodgy brain again. I’d rather take my chances with COVID. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, I’ll take my chances.

I’m scared to death for everyone I know who has already taken it but that will probably need citations/articles/evidence which I can’t be arsed to search for right now, footie is on in a minute!

And that’s really the crux of it. Why I won’t have it. Partly because I can’t, partly because I do believe this has been planned for a long time and partly because I’m the most stubborn person you’ll ever meet apart from Tanns(!) and the more someone tells me to do something the more I’ll dig my heels in. That and the evidence I see around me of vax injuries.

Playing Your Part in Society

I’ve pretty much been on lockdown for the last five years. I can’t afford to partake in society so denying privileges won’t make any difference to me. The fact that denying people privileges is being discussed should be enough to make your blood run cold.

Thanks to brain injury I can’t cope with being around large groups of people any more, I get sensory overload. I go shopping in the evenings to avoid people. And I really love not feeling people’s breath on the back of my neck any more so I will always social distance!

The Important Bit

What I’m saying is, I won’t be mingling amongst you, spreading anything.

Call me a Covidiot, call me what you want. Calling people names says a lot more about you than it does me and I can assure you I’ll forget what you said anyway! No one should be calling anyone anything until this plays out.

Someone I’ve followed on Twitter for 10 years asked me the other day what I thought about vaccines. So I told her. She then said if I was trying to convince her to be anti-vac ‘here is where our friendship ends’. Please, I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything, I’m saying what I see – (I was speaking to my ex husband the other day and said I’m 100% convinced I have undiagnosed autism. And he said: “OMG that would make so much sense!”. Its a shame the diagnoses takes between 4 and 9 years. But I can’t wait for the day that I can say ‘HA! All this time you thought I was weird and I’m not!’ I dream of that day). What I’m trying to say is I take everything literally and at face value. I can’t talk my brain into believing a vaccine that you need three of in a year. AND FOR LIFE

Ah well, never mind, apart from my much loved friends and a few family members, people are over-rated. The woods on my own is my happy place! I like my own company now which is just as well because someone has to!

I totally understand why some friends (and family) won’t want to meet me in person now. That’s totally your right and I won’t judge you at all, I respect your choices. I hope you can allow me the same respect.

I’m really sorry Moj x

Namaste!