You Can’t Do That! “You’ll cause so much trouble!” my cousin C said. I’ll be honest with you, I can’t remember her exact words but it was something along the lines of you can’t do that, you’ll blow everything up and cause mayhem. I walked into the garden while she… Continue reading
I gave up when I tripped up someone’s doorstep and slammed my head into their front door. Honestly, its a miracle I have any working brain cells left! Continue reading
It happened again. Where is he?! I was trying to quell the absolute fear but it was rising rapidly. Give him a minute, you know he’s deaf now, can’t hear you. He’s probably in the bushes eating fox shit. But he wasn’t. How the hell did I lose him? I… Continue reading
This year she’s been working part time in a school uniform shop and people would you please stop shouting at minimum wage employees. They don’t make the rules. Take it up with the owners. Continue reading
Nothing new there you might say – and you’d be right Where to begin. The water that spilt on my four month old laptop and killed it was probably the start and it all snowboarded downhill from there really. (I won’t bore you with all the details but lets just… Continue reading
How boring is that?! Imagining you’ve planted seeds. 18yo me would be absolutely mortified. And 40 year old me to be honest. Its only since I’ve been getting funeral plans through the post this gardening thing happened! Jokes. It was COVID and hot weather. Continue reading
The day we moved out (see My Accident: Part 1) I was sat in the kitchen, boxes piled high. One of the removal men was already freaking out because he thought he saw his mate go in the bathroom but there was no one there. And then he says: “Could do with some music” and LO the radio alarm clock three boxes down started playing. I KID YOU NOT! Continue reading
I opened the window and a lady put her arm INTO THE CAR onto my shoulder and said “Its alright. Everything is going to be alright. You’ve done good things, it will all be okay.” Continue reading
I got up, turned the light on and sat there basically crapping myself (metaphorically) until daylight. Weird thing though, when I got out of bed and looked down my inner thighs were covered in lots of of tiny bruises. And all down my outer legs. Like little fingerprint size bruises. Continue reading
