I’m Mostly Exhausted
Where did I get to….oh yes, the trying to survive going forward bit. You know how awful the finances/benefits (30 years of paying tax & NI counts for shit) are and the stress of keeping roof over head because landlord raises the rent every other month so what am I going to do about it. Not very mobile/active & my options are limited.
The dream is my blog taking off (would you just retweet and share it already?!) making enough money from the ads (please click on my ads – I get paid if you do!) to live on. I don’t need a huge amount, not materialistic. But enough to eat and have a holiday. Oh how I’d love a holiday.
I really enjoy and appreciate the small things in life now. One positive to take from all the negative. Always been a huge nature lover but feel even more spiritual these days. And the more spiritual I become, the more my inner peace increases. I mean don’t get me wrong, will always honk my horn at crap drivers who put mine & Sophie’s life in danger(!) but the more I practice, the easier it becomes. I just need to remember to practice!
Back in Feb 2017 my ex husband told me about Utility Warehouse. We’re friends, we share a child, her welfare matters to both of us. UW is a discount club to save money, lower your bills and have all your utilities on the same bill, same day every month. They win all the Which? awards for broadband, UK based customer service and loads of others. So I paid the sign up fees. And did nothing. Was in the midst of severe depression, wasn’t leaving the house or speaking to anyone. Except tweeters. “Do it!” everyone cried. Oh how I wish I could’ve at that point. I couldn’t bare to speak to shop assistants let alone walk around talking to total strangers.
The other problem I had (which is worse when under stress, which I totally was) is that I forget what I’m talking about mid-sentence and then my mind goes blank. This happened at a friend’s brother’s house when I went round to sign him up. Was so nervous, kept having to say ‘sorry, can you give me 2 minutes?’ while I remembered what I was doing there because some times its like coming out of a trance. Which obviously really didn’t help my mental health/confidence. He didn’t sign up(!)
Was the wrong time. 3 years later however….
I’m that person who couldn’t sell water in the desert. Not a natural born salesperson. Too honest, say things as it is, can’t help myself. I’d love to blame the brain damage but always been like it. But this UW is bloody brilliant. I’ve signed up friends and instantly saved them money each month. And what a great feeling that is! I love it! They do nothing except give me address, annual usage from back of the bills, I give the quote, sign them up, job’s a good un, everyone’s a winner. And I really want it to work. A lot of people make a good living out of this business. I want to be one of them.
BUT its actually amazing how many friends and family say no. But I want to save you money? No its okay, we’ve been with the same supplier for 15 years and we’re happy with them. But we’re cheaper than the top 6 and will put £100 credit on your bill in 12 months time! No, we’re alright thank you. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME MAKING A LIVING IT WON’T COST YOU ANYTHING, YOUR MONTHLY DIRECT DEBITS WILL GO DOWN!” is what I want to scream at them. Well I would if they replied to my messages. Ah well!
I don’t want to annoy people. I don’t want people to start ignoring me. Which they are! Oh you comment on a FB post but don’t bother replying to my emails? Okaaaay! If anyone has any good advice on how to do this then I’m all ears. Because I want it to work. It fits around my disabilities.
And finally, speaking of disabilities [I know, BOR-ING] does anyone know why I won’t list them in my bio but every time I reply to someone and it sounds a bit stupid or wrong, I’m right in there with sorry, brain damaged. Its weird. Its like I don’t want anyone to know but at the same time I don’t want to appear stupid either. Don’t get me wrong, was never Einstein & care not what others think of me (anymore – finally) but if I do care if I think I’m stupid. Does that make sense? Probably not!
I’m going to end it here. Boring myself. But hit me up if you want to save enough money in a year that you could have an extra holiday. Shameless. I know 🙂
Right, lets see where the next life chapter takes me. Quietly optimistic x