I wanna tell you a secret

Well for starters that’s not me in the photo above. But that’s the goal. To jump for joy!

Another secret is 95% of the time I love being on my own. I love my own company, dog walks, meals whenever I want, my bed time & rise time whenever I want, shaving legs whenever I want, etc. etc. Could go on, you get the gist.

Those missing 5% are quite important sometimes though. They’re taking the bins out, taking car for MOT (oh here she comes, its gonna cost ya), accompanying you to hospital when you have an op. Picking you up after the op and caring for you. The feeling of being wrapped in arms, facing the world together. Be nice to have that missing 5% sometimes. To have someone to share & do life with and to help each other with the bits you find a bit harder. I’ll tell you why:

My car headlights have been delivered and I’m currently struggling to get them to the mechanic who is a friend doing it for me cheaper than the garage. Four friends I’ve asked are busy. And I hate asking. When they say no it makes me feel even worse that I’ve troubled them. Would be 3 buses or a 10 mile round trip walk. But due to neck & wrist disabilities I couldn’t carry it onto bus even if I wanted to. Huge box.  [I don’t want my blogs to all revolve around my disabilities and going to attempt not to in my next blog. If I remember(!) but bit difficult not to.] I could stick it in a taxi with money I can ill-afford and walk back but ankles are already throbbing before I start. Disabilities eh?! Ah well, never mind.

Update: mechanic will collect them tomorrow morning. Now my dilemma is I didn’t realise it was Good Friday tomorrow and need to collect prescription from doc by 7pm today. So my choices are: 7/8 mile round walk in pain or go without meds on Sunday and Monday and have 2 sleepless nights. Choices, choices.  Majorly eye-rolling at myself here. Thought I’d been really productive and on top of things this week. Its now 16:16 and I’m going with option 2. Avoid me on Monday and Tuesday next week. Sleep deprivation is not my friend.

But back to The Secret! I watched it on Netflix the other night. Started off spitting my tea out laughing but by about half way through I thought: ‘yes! That’s happened to me!’ This could work. Everyone who’s watched it has told me its a pile of poo. But I’m right up for it. I’m right up for trying to be happy & positive all day long, to create my own reality, to ask the universe for what I want and the universe to give it to me.

Well let me tell you, its Day 3 (I think?), and two days in a row now a small amount of money has landed in my lap.  And I’m going to give this my best shot. Try and be positive & sunny 24/7, find happiness in any small thing, attract positive energy. Trust me, when you hit the bottom & have nothing its amazing how many small things can make you happy & thankful. Like Applewood cheese, grapes & crackers. My lunch. But I also know how hard it is not to get frustrated or irate. Definitely a work in progress.

I’m managing to stay upbeat and happy but it has required some concentration (which is in short supply these days thanks brain injury!). Looking at Twitter is definitely not conducive. But the meds are helping(!) and nothing ventured, nothing gained. I shall report back! Hopefully with a winning lottery ticket but I’ll take a grain of anything.

Wishing you all a heap of happiness
And remember: if you don’t ask you don’t get x