Life

“Where are my pants? Where have my pants gone? WHERE ARE MY PANTS?!”

“Oh I forgot I took them off!” I said and we both doubled over laughing. Real belly laughs at my stupidity and the situation again. [American readers I mean knickers]

When we’d got home from the woods earlier I’d changed out of jeans and put jogging bottoms on. Sunday innit. Then after a pretty mediocre roast and two tramadol I decided I had a second wind and could walk through the pain, back up the hills to find lost dog lead. If I left it until tomorrow would be anxious about it.

Its usually quite a deserted place, even if small car park is full. Its that big I only ever usually see one or two other dogs, sometimes none. I wasn’t too bothered what I was dressed in/looked like, is what I’m trying to say.


Until we got out the car that is. We start walking and I remember these joggers have a hole somewhere on the bum. So I say to Sophie, have a look, see if you can see it.

“Yes”, she says, “Ughhh! I can see the crack of your bum!”

“OMG!” I said. “I’ll pull my pants up!” Delved into the back of my trousers and felt around and “Where are my pants? Where have my pants gone? WHERE ARE MY PANTS?!” Genuinely panicked for a few seconds thinking ‘how did someone nick them when I’m wearing them?!’ and then “oh yeah! Forgot I took them off!”

“OMG You are such an idiot!” she says and starts to mimic me “where have my pants gone?! Where are my pants?!”

Both doubled up laughing.

Hoodie tied around my waist, off we go again. We only pass one man with three greyhounds who wanted some loving. The greyhounds, not the man. Luckily.

We’d gone back to the woods for a second time today as I’d left the dog lead in his special scared stick place. 200,000 hectares of woods but he’ll only pick up sticks from this particular shaded spot. (He’s so special!) Its a beautiful part of the woods with a couple of logs to sit on. I’d put his dog lead down while taking a photo of Sophie. Forgot to pick it back up.  Its a common occurrence be it lead, gloves or sunglasses. No.873,273 of how my brain injury affects me.

Found it. Happy days!

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