COVID-19 LOCKDOWN DAYS

March 2020

Tuesday

Exhaling loudly before I even begin.

I keep peeking at my seed trays. Only been a few days but nothing sprouting. Not sure if I put too much dirt over them and planted them too deep. Okay, I’m sure I did. They’re tiny little seeds, never find them again and all that energy and pain for nothing. Ah well. Not going to think about it, more important things to worry about. Like my swollen face.

Went an absolute flyer yesterday. Heard postman, came downstairs, staring at the envelope on floor thinking who’s that from, near the bottom, possibly 3 steps up, my ankle twisted (hypermobile), my knee crashed straight down on the floor and my face ploughed into the front door. Bit down hard on my lip, blood everywhere. Whacked a front tooth really hard (hurts to clean it) and also the cheekbone, eyesocket and right side of head that I’d already damaged in ‘MY ACCIDENT’. How’s my luck?!

There’s a tiny dent in my front door. Quite proud of that when I spotted it this morning.

Got a bit of a lump on the side of left ankle, sore knee, swollen right cheek, my usual headache and swollen bee sting bottom lip that some people pay for. Free you know! So I’m actually winning…

But this COVID-19

Oh my days. One minute I’m completely fine, its fine, everything is fine. We’re home, we’re safe, we have tinned food that can be stretched.

Then I look at Twitter and holy hell the whole world is going to end.

Started looking at the COVID Facebook help group set up in my area and someone is asking if she can take still take her baby out for a drive every afternoon because that’s how she gets him to sleep and what does everyone think?

I said “I think you should start thinking about the planet and stop driving every day. Rock him or put him in a pram like millions of mothers have managed to do before you. That’s non essential travel.”

Someone said “that’s not very nice blah” and I replied that I’m sick to death of whiny adults who can’t do this, or can’t do that and boohoo. I have 3 close family members (all with young children) on the frontline of the NHS, plus friends, putting their lives on the line for you. The NHS are BEGGING you to stay home. Can you just think about everyone else for a few weeks?

I felt terrible. I shouldn’t have said it. My fear has turned to frustration and anger and I really started to beat myself up. Tried to find to delete but it was gone. Great, I thought, got myself banned from a kindness group. What a badge of honour. AND I could do with some shopping help, I’m in the vulnerable group (have a delivery booked but not for another 2 weeks). Blown it. Ah well, I need my prescription from Boots so I’ll have to go out anyway.

A bit later I got a message from someone asking to connect with me on Messenger. She’s one of the admins on the help page. Oh dear. Here we go, gonna get a bollocking. Totally ashamed of myself.

Won’t bore you with all the details but basically she said ‘please consider this a strike one’ and then said she absolutely agreed with me. And was really rather lovely. I said I’m taking myself off the site for a while until I get my emotions under control, need to centre and calm myself and she was pleading with me to stay. Was not expecting that. People are acting really weird aren’t they?(!)

Wednesday

Awake not 10 minutes, taking first sip of coffee and my cousin Carmen rang. I mentioned her in BBC My Money Article. About how I popped round for an hour and left 3 and a half hours later because we can both talk the hind legs off a donkey. Today we put the phone down after 2 hours and 16 minutes, during which I had two coffees and one cup of tea.

And that was my morning done.

Quick walk with Bailey this afternoon but its unbelievable how many people were walking around. Sure you sit on your ass most of the time but the moment you’re told to stay home you audition for rambler of the year. Blummin dog won’t poo in his own garden but going to see if he can hold his poo until evenings when less people around.

Time to make dinner. Cold pasta, peppers (frozen, sliced), tin of tuna and mayo. Thought I had a tin of sweetcorn but must’ve imagined it.

That’s exciting isn’t it. Stay tuned!