Always In My Thoughts

Thursday, 1 October 2020

10.30am

I couldn’t work out why Sophie seemed to be rushing me. We were going to sit in the park with coffee and bagels from the café. Sunny day, lets make the most of it. I needed something to distract me from the earlier Twitter pain and confusion. Plenty of time for my meds to kick in and she didn’t start college until 2pm.

Wrong. “I told you its 12pm so many times”, she said wearily. I did my usual “sorry, stupid brain”, but every time I say it my stress headache hurts a little more. Shit for brains. It hurts if I concentrate as well (for real!), but luckily that doesn’t happen very often.

Anyway, we found a nice bench nestled among the trees. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, few gorgeous dogs came up for some attention, lovely morning. Instantly soothing away the upset and frustrations of earlier. (See 8.30am to 10.30am HERE).

We were in good moods, we always enjoy each other’s company. I know, blessed! We talked about nothing stuff – how much I loved her ring and wanted one for Christmas. Then I talked about how myself and Jo now had matching trainers (I copied her) and we’d best not wear our matching trousers (she copied me) out at the same time as well haha. Although I said I’d never seen Jo wear them yet.

My phone was in my large, bottomless bag the whole time.

Dropped her to college, got my phone out.

My first Facebook advert was her EXACT SAME TURTLE RING we’d been talking about that morning from the online company she bought it from. My first Insta advert was the EXACT SAME TROUSERS I’d been talking about, from Sainsburys. Shuddup, they were lockdown comfy loungers!

Not once had we mentioned any brand names or descriptions. I mean we’ll dull, but we’re not that dull.

Isn’t that weird? It is weird, it happens ALL the time. FB is LITERALLY in my thoughts. I know about algorithms and how we are all profiled (watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix – very interesting) but some things seem a bit…I don’t know, read on!

I’ve been in my bathroom before, thinking about needing new foundation, walked downstairs, checked phone and my first Facebook advert is foundation. I drive along thinking about my Irish midwife, (even though I’d given birth 17 years ago – it was a random cringe thought but that’s another blog haha) and my next FB advert was for midwifery college courses. I was thinking about Ehlers Danos and wondering if I have it. A rare and obscure thing to thing about right? MY VERY NEXT FACEBOOK ADVERT was about Ehlers Danos.

What is going on? Got any theories? I’d love to hear them, please comment below!